I...  really dont know what to do

It still the same. The feeling. Still the same feeling as many years ago. And it's killing me everyday.  I always be worried about you, every night, before sleeping. i have so many thoughts, even questions that no one would answer. So was you.

Friends of mine always say that i must be stupid. like, im not taking care of myself because im to busy thinking of you, who may not be think about the same. Agree, sometimes not. Because they dont understand me. No one understand my feeling. 

I dont know how stop. Instead to stop, i tend to hurt myself, myfeeling. It's really hurt when you make some hope or smth like that when i-

i really hate myself.